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Questions.
Apr. 22nd, 2008 08:12 pmThis has been knocking around my head for a while, so I decided to let it out. For those of you looking for substantive updates on my life, I have too damn much work to do and I've realised that my relationships are all suffering from not being as good as something that started in 1999, which one of my friends suggests explains a great deal more about my personality than anything I've written so far. I went to church.
I'm supposed to be a theologian, right? I'm supposed to care about the Truth, and about the answers to life, the universe, and everything, aren't I?
There is no Truth. There is beauty, and joy, and most of all pain, but anything humans can claim to know or understand cannot rightly be called Truth. I'm sorry I lied to you, Neil, and told you that such a thing exists and that you should strive for it, because I sent you down a path that leads nowhere. It pains me to say you might have been better off working for yourself, because you are a better person for having played the game. People look for answers, or say they do, but this thing that we study the philosophical/theological complex - is just a game to distract brilliant men. 42 is the best answer we're going to get, and there are so many more important questions:
How can a cross that seems to be made of kite-string and matchsticks triumph over evil?
Why does the sky over Providence look that sickly orange colour when the sky over Boston never does?
How can you cling to the Rock of Peter when its covered by rubble and ruin?
How does it feel to kiss someone you love for the first time?
Is it better to go without the sacraments or to allow a Pharisee to confect them for you?
If, as the Poets tell us, Love is all you need and if you try sometimes you get what you need, why is true love so elusive?
Does God have a sense of humour?
If we live together, why must we die alone?
There's nothing left in here, guys. My faculties are depleted, and nothing is coming out of my ailing and addled mind. I turn 20 on Friday, and perhaps after that I'll be able to start to recharge myself, but until then, it's all gone.
I'm supposed to be a theologian, right? I'm supposed to care about the Truth, and about the answers to life, the universe, and everything, aren't I?
There is no Truth. There is beauty, and joy, and most of all pain, but anything humans can claim to know or understand cannot rightly be called Truth. I'm sorry I lied to you, Neil, and told you that such a thing exists and that you should strive for it, because I sent you down a path that leads nowhere. It pains me to say you might have been better off working for yourself, because you are a better person for having played the game. People look for answers, or say they do, but this thing that we study the philosophical/theological complex - is just a game to distract brilliant men. 42 is the best answer we're going to get, and there are so many more important questions:
How can a cross that seems to be made of kite-string and matchsticks triumph over evil?
Why does the sky over Providence look that sickly orange colour when the sky over Boston never does?
How can you cling to the Rock of Peter when its covered by rubble and ruin?
How does it feel to kiss someone you love for the first time?
Is it better to go without the sacraments or to allow a Pharisee to confect them for you?
If, as the Poets tell us, Love is all you need and if you try sometimes you get what you need, why is true love so elusive?
Does God have a sense of humour?
If we live together, why must we die alone?
There's nothing left in here, guys. My faculties are depleted, and nothing is coming out of my ailing and addled mind. I turn 20 on Friday, and perhaps after that I'll be able to start to recharge myself, but until then, it's all gone.
