Professor Ej's Increasingly Epistolary Echumenically Insensitive Examination of Existance

Dear iTunes,

Playing 5 songs that relate to graduation in a row is neither amusing nor helpful. Please stop doing things like that if you wish for me to keep you on my computer.
-Ej

Dear Vitamin C,

Your song sucks. You didn't diserve your 15 minutes.

My love,
-Ej

Dear Meg,

Your concert was fantastic, and made me laugh all the way home. I'm sorry about the akward introduction.

Yours, always,
-Ej

Dear People Concerned About Gay Marriage,

You're right, it was poorly decided. So was Roe. I agree.

But get the Hell over it. Please just find a better war to fight - the Nation doesn't care.

Yours,
-Ej
P.S. Don't nominate Mitt. You'll just look stupid.

P.P.S. Beat that alliteration with a stick.