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(no subject)
Jul. 1st, 2005 04:18 pmAs to the question you asked:
Here's how I know you aren't:
Because in the past six years you have never so throughly ignored/avoided/disregarded me.
Because you have never had to lie like that about something so trivial.
Because you've stopped telling me how much you enjoy it/him, which was the only thing that made me feel ok about it at all.
Because I can hear something in your voice, and read something in your writing, which I haven't see in a very long time, if ever.
Because you are setting yourself up to march into Framingham alone, having to start all over.
Because you wouldn't lie about loving someone, and this is not how you used to treat people you love.
Because you are giving up the thing you wanted for yourself, and that could make you happy more than anything else, for somebody else's fantasy version of the world, and you are too strong and proud and important for that.
Because you've stopped listening to any of the songs unless he gives them to you.
Because when has "wasting time" ever worked out well for long?
Because I've been your best friend since you put your arm around me and leaned your head on my shoulder while Mr. Foley sang on December 23, 1999, and I know you better than anybody has yet.
Maybe you don't want to find yourself yet, and I can understand that, but take some advice, ok?
You can alienate me, but when breakup 5 (or 5 2/3 or 6 or 7, depending on how you count) comes along, or something else happens, or you need to buy make up and have somebody draw on your shoulder, or you need someplace to go on the second friday, or you need somebody to talk about stuff to, or to vent about the day with, or to beat at chess or cribbage, or to love you unconditionally and do what you need, or to relay messages, or do any of the other countless things that I have done for you, where will you go?
Ignore me and see him as much as you like. Make yourself look the way you want, do what you think is best. But never forget this:
I will always be here when you are ready to come back. So write or call or IM when you need a best friend again, however long that is.
Until then, Amicum maiorem tum sum, et essebo semper et semper, et servabo te, orebo pro te, et amabo in saecula saeculorum.
- EJ^1/2
And to the person who knows what this means:
I am, as I sometimes was, and ever shall be,
Yours. Without question or equivocation, I love you, and I care about you, and I long to hold you in my arms again, for then I know that there is hope, that it is possible that I might still find the greatest happiness on earth. You make me feel that way, and I adore you for it.
Here's how I know you aren't:
Because in the past six years you have never so throughly ignored/avoided/disregarded me.
Because you have never had to lie like that about something so trivial.
Because you've stopped telling me how much you enjoy it/him, which was the only thing that made me feel ok about it at all.
Because I can hear something in your voice, and read something in your writing, which I haven't see in a very long time, if ever.
Because you are setting yourself up to march into Framingham alone, having to start all over.
Because you wouldn't lie about loving someone, and this is not how you used to treat people you love.
Because you are giving up the thing you wanted for yourself, and that could make you happy more than anything else, for somebody else's fantasy version of the world, and you are too strong and proud and important for that.
Because you've stopped listening to any of the songs unless he gives them to you.
Because when has "wasting time" ever worked out well for long?
Because I've been your best friend since you put your arm around me and leaned your head on my shoulder while Mr. Foley sang on December 23, 1999, and I know you better than anybody has yet.
Maybe you don't want to find yourself yet, and I can understand that, but take some advice, ok?
You can alienate me, but when breakup 5 (or 5 2/3 or 6 or 7, depending on how you count) comes along, or something else happens, or you need to buy make up and have somebody draw on your shoulder, or you need someplace to go on the second friday, or you need somebody to talk about stuff to, or to vent about the day with, or to beat at chess or cribbage, or to love you unconditionally and do what you need, or to relay messages, or do any of the other countless things that I have done for you, where will you go?
Ignore me and see him as much as you like. Make yourself look the way you want, do what you think is best. But never forget this:
I will always be here when you are ready to come back. So write or call or IM when you need a best friend again, however long that is.
Until then, Amicum maiorem tum sum, et essebo semper et semper, et servabo te, orebo pro te, et amabo in saecula saeculorum.
- EJ^1/2
And to the person who knows what this means:
I am, as I sometimes was, and ever shall be,
Yours. Without question or equivocation, I love you, and I care about you, and I long to hold you in my arms again, for then I know that there is hope, that it is possible that I might still find the greatest happiness on earth. You make me feel that way, and I adore you for it.
