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Prom Night, Through a Veil of Tears
Jun. 2nd, 2005 10:05 pmI'm sitting here, prepairing to chant the Office for the Dead, a set of Psalms, Canticles, and Prayers for the peaceful repose of the souls of the dead and the safety of the lost. And despite what I said, I'm praying it for you. The first words of the office at Vespers are "Placebo Dominum" or "I shall please the Lord" At Matins you read the Magnificat, or Canticle of Mary, which traditionally begins "My soul magnifies the Lord." Proper to the Office at Compline is the Salve Regina, a prayer oft-quoted for the line "To you do we send up our sighs, moaning and weeping in this veil of tears."
Placebo Dominam. Placebo Meam Amicam et Magistram. My soul magnifies her. Ora pro sacraligos, Mater Maria.
I'm praying it because I'm losing you, and tonight, this beautiful near-summer night when the angels dance before us and the celestial hymn rings so clearly on the wind, is the final battle I have lost. For you are having your fairy tale, you are having the amazing night you diserve to end your time in High School and seal those relationships to be sealed and leave behind those relationships to be left, and I am here, and you didn't even see fit to carry with you the crown I found for you in the Royal Palace of Prague. Fit to tie your dress, paint your body, conceal your beautiful face, and strap on your shoes, but not to accompany or acclaim or crown the person I have loved since Mr. Foley's Christmas Party so many years ago.
Not even fit for a chaste little kiss or a final hug before you left.
The lady at the hair salon heard us and knew it was something special and unique. So did I. Did you?
You are leaving, and I cannot even beg of you the space in your mind for one memorable evening. I'm sitting here crying and going nuts, and maybe I'm being selfish, but it's what I've got, and I can't make it go away.
Enjoy your life, and if my Best Friend, an amazing and beautiful princess for whom I pray tonight should happen to come the way of Lazarus, I shall know her because she will carry a rosary and a czech crown, and greet me by saying "Ej, I love you. Help me if you can, I've gotta get back to the house on Pooh Corner by 1"
P.S. Giulia, I'm sorry. I wish my heart could be as loyal to you as my mind and my body. I do love you, and in a way I always have, but I cannot escape these things. Feeling you near me is the only thing that could help me move past the end of my greatest friendship right now, but I'm not sure that it is fair to you. Forgive me for doing this to you.
Placebo Dominam. Placebo Meam Amicam et Magistram. My soul magnifies her. Ora pro sacraligos, Mater Maria.
I'm praying it because I'm losing you, and tonight, this beautiful near-summer night when the angels dance before us and the celestial hymn rings so clearly on the wind, is the final battle I have lost. For you are having your fairy tale, you are having the amazing night you diserve to end your time in High School and seal those relationships to be sealed and leave behind those relationships to be left, and I am here, and you didn't even see fit to carry with you the crown I found for you in the Royal Palace of Prague. Fit to tie your dress, paint your body, conceal your beautiful face, and strap on your shoes, but not to accompany or acclaim or crown the person I have loved since Mr. Foley's Christmas Party so many years ago.
Not even fit for a chaste little kiss or a final hug before you left.
The lady at the hair salon heard us and knew it was something special and unique. So did I. Did you?
You are leaving, and I cannot even beg of you the space in your mind for one memorable evening. I'm sitting here crying and going nuts, and maybe I'm being selfish, but it's what I've got, and I can't make it go away.
Enjoy your life, and if my Best Friend, an amazing and beautiful princess for whom I pray tonight should happen to come the way of Lazarus, I shall know her because she will carry a rosary and a czech crown, and greet me by saying "Ej, I love you. Help me if you can, I've gotta get back to the house on Pooh Corner by 1"
P.S. Giulia, I'm sorry. I wish my heart could be as loyal to you as my mind and my body. I do love you, and in a way I always have, but I cannot escape these things. Feeling you near me is the only thing that could help me move past the end of my greatest friendship right now, but I'm not sure that it is fair to you. Forgive me for doing this to you.
