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Embrace Gethsemane
Mar. 17th, 2008 12:49 amAs I listened to the passion being read this year, palms in my hand and readying myself to demand the death of God, I realised something.
I'm still on the Mount of Olives.
I've heard the Gospel, and it terrifies me. I've tried to live it, and I'm so exhausted my eyes close against my will. I have reached the point at which a willing spirit is hampered in ways great and small by weakened flesh. So I wait. I wait while others pray, I wait not quite knowing what's coming. I simply wait.
I think, moreover, that we're all in Gethsemane, all waiting. The whole Church is falling asleep with Pete and the gang, the whole Church is simply waiting for whatever is coming to come. Some of us will fail, and some of us are betrayers, and some of us will only repent when the cock crows and morning comes, but right now the whole world is simply occupying itself while we await something else, as if the Apostles played games behind Jesus' back.
And like Peter, I want to do something, I want to keep going, I'm so eager to do what I think God wants I fail more spectacularly than the rest for the sake of my great ambition. I pray, then, that I can learn to embrace Gethsemane.
I'm still on the Mount of Olives.
I've heard the Gospel, and it terrifies me. I've tried to live it, and I'm so exhausted my eyes close against my will. I have reached the point at which a willing spirit is hampered in ways great and small by weakened flesh. So I wait. I wait while others pray, I wait not quite knowing what's coming. I simply wait.
I think, moreover, that we're all in Gethsemane, all waiting. The whole Church is falling asleep with Pete and the gang, the whole Church is simply waiting for whatever is coming to come. Some of us will fail, and some of us are betrayers, and some of us will only repent when the cock crows and morning comes, but right now the whole world is simply occupying itself while we await something else, as if the Apostles played games behind Jesus' back.
And like Peter, I want to do something, I want to keep going, I'm so eager to do what I think God wants I fail more spectacularly than the rest for the sake of my great ambition. I pray, then, that I can learn to embrace Gethsemane.
